Worried about starting a new job, losing confidence in yourself in your relationship or just generally feeling low about yourself? It sucks right? If your confidence has slipped this post is for you.
This time last year I was a mess. I hated my job, I was still friends with people that were toxic, and it knocked my confidence, HARD. My boyfriend on the other hand oozes confidence. I envied his confidence and decided that I wanted to believe in myself.
After a ton of research, affirmations and learning to adapt my mindset, I’m at the happiest I have ever been. Like seriously, it’s refreshing waking up just feeling happy.
Following the four steps over the last year, I’ve managed to accomplish so much all down to the power of believing in yourself.
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Why should you believe in yourself?
I’ve listed below the six reasons why you should believe in yourself, that I’ve learned over the last year.
It’s important to trust yourself in your decisions and also trust the power of believing in yourself. Be confident in your skills.
Reason 1 – If you don’t, who else will?
This reminds me of a famous Ru Paul saying.
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
This is a similar point. If you can’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else? For example, You could be an amazing baker, who bakes the most amazing wedding cakes. Someone asks if you’ll bake their cake, but you’re unsure of yourself, you don’t give off the vibe that you can do it, even though you know you can. It won’t give the other person the confidence that you can complete the task.
Before you can ask anyone else to believe and trust your skills, you need to believe it first. Can’t sell something that you don’t believe yourself.
This was a big turning point for me in my mindset changes. I started to trust myself with blogging and anxiety because I know what I’m doing. I know endless tricks and tips to help but I was so unsure of myself.
Showing off my confidence has made other people read my blog because I believe in everything I write, and it shows!
Reason 2 – It builds self confidence
I see countless people struggle with self-confidence for a number of things. Of course, social media doesn’t help if you don’t use it correctly and you’re not in a good head space.
Believing in yourself will bring a new form of self-confidence.
It’s all about changing your mindset with this one. Last year, I was obsessing over girls on Instagram, the life they lived, the clothes and how they looked in general. SHOCK, Instagram isn’t real life.
People only post the best moments of their life. Influencers are there to sell a dream, a fantasy, that they live the perfect life and people follow it because they are in awe, and want to build something similar.
I fell in this trap, and it ain’t good, nor does it provide any sort of happiness. Stop comparing yourself to everyone and anyone. No two people are the same, there are too many factors.
I started posting what I wanted, wearing whatever I wanted and also looking however I wanted. I stopped trying to be someone else and honestly fell in love with myself which provided a new sense of self-confidence. This is one of the best reasons why the power of believing in yourself is so important.
Reason 3 – You’ll realise your ability
Quickly after you start believing and trusting yourself, which will then build confidence, you’ll realise the ability you have.
That light bulb moment where you realise, wow, I’m actually really good at this task, is refreshing. After I started receiving feedback on my blog from strangers, people who I had never spoken to, that honestly enjoyed my writing for the writing and not because it was me (aka friends and family) built my confidence.
I quickly realised that I have the ability to write and build a platform to help other people.
Since realising that ability, I have created a community of like minded-women, made some amazing friends and I feel like I’m living my life to the best of my ability.
Reason 4 – More motivation
Ever get started on a project, where you’re so excited and you just can’t wait to do everything? SAME! Believing in yourself and the project builds more and more motivation.
When you believe that you can do something, like run 10k, you then really want to prove to yourself that you can run the 10k and probably more. It’s about making that extra push and it makes a huge difference.
I started this blog very recently, but I know what I can do and build, which then motivates me to work on it every day and reach my full potential.
Reason 5 – You can build the life you want
Believing in yourself allows your dreams to become a reality. This then allows you to build the life that you always wanted. But you have to believe in the power believing in yourself first.
I know that I am a good blogger, I know that I have a lot to learn but doesn’t mean that I’m not good. I know that I can make a full time living out of it because I am passionate, hard-working and most of all, I believe in myself.
It requires a lot of confidence to go after what you want, because there will always be people there telling you that it’s not possible. Blocking out those voices, and focusing on the end goal will help you succeed overall.
Only you can make it happen.
Reason 6 – Overall Happiness
After listing all the above reasons, there’s a general reason that I need to include – Your overall happiness. I didn’t realise how much my happiness and mood would shift from negative to positive after believing in myself.
If you’re following your dreams, moving forward and getting what you want, of course, your happiness is going to increase! You’re doing exactly what you set out to do.
Creating a positive environment and believing that what I am doing means something. I have a glow that follows me. (my happy bubble)
How to believe in yourself
After reading all the amazing possibilities that come with believing in yourself, you’re probably wondering, how the hell do I start believing in myself?
I’ve got you covered!
I’ve listed below four steps that to follow that will help the power of believing in yourself.
Step 1 – Visualise it all
The first step in using the power of believing in yourself is visualising it all.
Start picturing exactly what you want in your mind. Even write it down. Think of every last detail that you want.
Then, picture what it would be like to have it. How would you feel, how would it change your life, would you have to move, who else would be included?
Imagine that you already have it. This does sound a little mad, but imagine in your head that you have already completed this goal, how do you feel? Happy right?
This is part of manifesting and going to provide you with motivation.
Another great way to visualise it all is using a vision board.
Step 2 – Be consistent
If you want to start a blog, but you only work on it once a month, then once a week but then lose the motivation and don’t do anything for a while. It’s not going to work.
Be consistent in what you’re doing. If you’re going to create a blog post every week, try and keep that schedule. Keeping this in mind, set realistic goals with yourself. If you know you can’t post once a week, post every two weeks, but be consistent with yourself to build a routine.
Step 3 – Look at your beliefs
I worked with my therapist to get my three core beliefs. I found it very upsetting to find that my three core beliefs were:
- I am weak
- I need to have control to feel safe
- I find it difficult to trust people
Of course, these had to change. I started finding scenarios in my life that were affected by these beliefs. I didn’t have many friends because I would shut people out very quickly. It closed a lot of opportunities as well because if I didn’t have full control over a situation, I didn’t go/take part.
It wasn’t life.
If you have similar negative core beliefs, use a planner to build on them. Then think of positive alternatives to your core beliefs.
The important part is to believe them, SO, build evidence to support these beliefs. Create a page for each new positive core belief and when you experience something that supports it, write it down.
Step 4 – Take action
The fourth step is to take action. Only you can make the change.
In order for the power of believing in yourself to work, you have to take action. After visualising what you want, being consistent and having positive core beliefs it’s time to take actions and turn these new expectations into a reality.
Start working towards creating your own evidence for your positive beliefs.
My old core belief was: I am weak. I then created my positive core belief. New core belief: I am confident in who I am.
Then, I started to create evidence myself to support this core belief. Posting content that I really loved, sharing ideas, speaking up when I wanted to.
After creating your own evidence, add this to your list from the previous step.
Tips to help
Believing in yourself can be hard, so I have listed some little tips that can help the process.
When I started doing affirmations, I felt almost cringey but now, it’s one of my favourite times of the day.
Find a time in your day where you have ten minutes to yourself and set this time for you.
You can either say these out loud or write them down. I like to look in the mirror (like I am talking to myself)
|I am enough.|
|I am a great writer.|
|Happiness is within.|
|I can create my own happiness.|
|I have lots to celebrate in my life.|
|I am magnificent.|
A great way of working on your self-love is using a self-love workbook. I couldn’t find a workbook that worked for me, so I decided to create my own printable version.
In my workbook, I wanted a space that I could document gratitude, journal along with a vision board.
Self-love alone time
I’ll be honest, I used to hate being alone. I was uncomfortable being left alone with my thoughts. After working on myself, I look forward to having a Saturday to myself to work on my blog, listen to music and do anything I want.
Having a set time for yourself, regardless if you’re in a relationship, have children or even friends. Take a day/night a week for you to relax and take a breather.
Reward yourself for achieving goals
Achieving goals is amazing, and you should be proud of yourself regardless of how big or small the goal is.
Reward yourself by treating yourself. Take pride in everything you have accomplished. Finding motivation and completing your goals is incredible.
Be your own cheerleader.
The power of believing in yourself is extraordinary and can open the door to endless possibilities.
Work on your confidence, taking action, create positive core beliefs and overall work ON YOU! Be a little selfish and take alone time, self-care and love yourself because as Ru Paul said…
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
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